Saturday, January 1, 2011

Eating Healthy Can Like Totally Kill You, and Stuff!


No, really!  It can!  

Yesterday, we were getting ready to cook some wild rice.  My wife had taken out some turkey to thaw.  We were going to mix them together in a wrap.  So, my wife put the rice on to boil and we went downstairs to work on some home improvement projects in our bedroom.  The wild rice mix we like usually takes about an hour to cook, so we weren't really in any big hurry.

After being in our basement for about twenty minutes we smelled something burning.  Janet went up stairs to check, thinking the heat was on too high and it had boiled over.  Suddenly, she yells for me to come upstairs.  I stepped upstairs and entered a cloud of smoke.  It was strong enough to make it very difficult to breath and caused my eyes to burn.  I entered the kitchen to see the wild rice burning and sending out a ton of smoke.


Woah!  Wait a minute!  The Editor here.  I need to interject that I'm not a complete ignoramus in the kitchen.  So what if boiling rice continues to defeat me?  This time, it wasn't my fault.

A couple of weeks ago, our little darling dropped my favorite thermal mug on the floor and broke the inner sleeve out of it.  I glued it back together and waited an hour or so before I put it in the dishwasher.  Apparently a pocket of glue hadn't dried, which surprised me, as it usually dries before I have a chance to get my finger off of the mug.  The dishwasher spread the glue on several items that were washing with the mug.

Some of it had gotten on our $300 Carico pot.  I soaked everything in vinegar, which seemed to do the trick.  I thought Aaron had used the pot since my little boo-boo, but he apparently hadn't.  So, in an accident worthy of a Pinky and the Brain episode, the glue reacted to the heat, somehow all of the water boiled out immediately, and smoked enough for a Cheech and Chong movie.

Actual Photo of Epic Rice Fail

Luckily, we didn't burn our house down, but now we had a whole house full of toxic smoke. We opened up every window in the house and grabbed a couple of fans to push the smoke out.  The smell, however, is still here.  I don't think anything is permanently smoked damaged, but the smell is going to be around for a few days. We forced our young son to stay downstairs where the smoke wasn't as thick, which really didn't make him that happy, as his Thomas choo-choos were upstairs.  And since the kitchen smelled bad and was smokey, we ordered pizza and had a makeshift picnic on the floor of our bedroom downstairs.  It turned out to be kinda fun!  And the smoke made it smell like we were camping.  Good times.

The most disturbing part about this little accident is that our smoke detectors didn't go off, both of which are brand-new and are supposed to have a ten-year battery.  I guess will be getting new detectors very soon.

So, while an exciting way to bring the year to a close, I guess the lesson to all of this is to always be careful and attentive while cooking.  Nothing really bad actually happened, but if we had waited a few minutes longer who knows what could have happened.   And, in retrospect, we probably should have left the house while it was airing out because I'm sure the smoke was toxic.  So eating healthy can kill you, if you're not careful.

You know what sucks?  I really wanted turkey wraps.  Even though I've noted in the past I love pizza.


I know, dear.  There, there.

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