Putting Money Where Ones Mouth Is...

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By Danielle Moler

Well, my students really are quite a bit more observant than I thought.  I received the following direct message on Facebook from a student of mine over the weekend.  This student is a great singer and a really good kid.  He's got a rare voice type, and has overcome so much already.  I asked his permission before posting this.

So I've been reading your blog. I have seen your transformation from what u were and what u are now. I see that your happy and fit. There has been a big difference in you since you have lost weight, a good difference. I can honestly say that your class is the only class that I smile without trying, can be myself, and feel confident in all I do. But outside that room it is all a different story. A recent event happened that let reality hit me square in the face. Like I said I went to the doctor. Sat down, flipped through a magazine and heard my name. Got up walked down the hall, and was told to do the one thing I fear more then anything, step on the scale. I stood sideways, so I wouldn't have to see it, but the nurse said it out loud. "two-thirty one point six." like a sharp knife to my ears, I held back the tears. Thankfully I was facing away from the nurse as she ushered me back to a room. The only problem I have, I suffer in silence. My weight. fatty, upa-lupa, chubby- buddy, fatso-lot, mooby man, flab abs. Kids are real creative nowadays huh. The only thing that has ever held me back is my weight and I know this. I don't go out with friends cause most the time involves physical activity, and I sweat like a dog anyway, and get out of breathe just walking. Hate shopping cause I know that we don't look for the normal sizes but things with a big X on them, just knowing that they need extra fabric for me, I hate it. The sweater what a neat invention, something big, comfortable, and looks the same on everyone my safety zone. I envy you Aaron, seeing your success, wanting to be like you. Really don't know what I'm trying to say I just needed to tell someone. Someone who might be able to help. Just maybe.

Idk what I am doing sending this, but guess all insecurities go out the window when you have noone to talk to and nowhere to go.

Wow!  I was surprised, and then incredibly sad for a really great kid.  I hate that stories like this, and they are probably way more common than they should be.  While I'm flattered that students have noticed my own weight loss, I'm humbled that even one student would seek me out for advice.  Here was my initial response to his message.

Wow thank you. I'm so very glad you stayed in choir. I'm truly humbled that you feel like you can be yourself in my classroom. That means more too me than you know. As far as everything else you said, I'll comment on that later when I'm not so tired. But I will say this, weight loss is work, and you really have to dedicate yourself to it to make it happen, and really, that's the hardest part.  Have a good weekend.

I haven't followed up on that response yet simply because I'm not sure what to tell him.  The ironic thing is that this is exactly what I hoped would eventually happen, now I'm at a loss as to what to do to really help him.  I need to put my money where my mouth is, but how do I help him without blurring the teacher/student line?  Perhaps simply sharing with him what I did is the best idea.  I don't know, I've never been in this situation before.  And frankly, it's kinda scary.

Translating Goals into Action

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           Through several epic fails and subsequent hard won successes, I’m finding that wanting to lose weight isn’t enough.  The whole feel-better-look-better-live-better thing is great, but translating those goals into success took more than motivation.

Photo by robertsinnett

            I lost weight because I wanted to be active and not hurt, and to get healthy for my son. I spent the better part of this evening playing with my precious Elliot.  (IT’SSSS MINE!  MY PRECIOUSSSSSS!)  Both Janet and I have parents and other relatives who’ve struggled with their weight, and I’ve seen myself heading that direction over the last few years.  I want my son to find out that your own lifestyle influences others.  It cleared up my priorities really quickly, but doing it for your kids isn’t enough by itself, otherwise we wouldn’t have overweight moms and dads.

            Having an overall all goal means nothing if you can’t meet daily goals.  I just started another round of P90, which requires workouts 6 days a week.  I love it.  It’s fun, but it takes serious dedication and usually requires working out at night.  I don’t really like working out late at night, since I have a hard time getting to sleep afterwards, but it’s sometimes the only time I have.  Between playing in a rock band, a Celtic band, doing my school’s pep band, and chaperoning Tri-County Honor Band rehearsals and the tour, I often don’t make it home until 10 or 11 pm.  I’m busy, everyone is.  So, I’m not going to stress out over a couple missed workouts so long as a couple doesn't turn into a lot, but it’s very easy to let one or two missed workouts turn into a week, then into a month, etc.

            I’ve basically decided this time around to exercise when I can, and I’m not going to stress out about having to miss a few workouts when I get home late.  On those nights it’s more important to me to get sleep than try to work out late at night.  This might slow down my overall progress a bit, but if I’m still making progress and not grinding to a halt, I’m happy.  Health is a lifetime goal, not a short term one.  I’m much further along health wise than I was a year ago.

            I want to be healthy, not only for me but also for my son.  I had to figure out a consistent workout schedule that jives with being a band director and weekly evening commitments.  I have all the motivation I need.  I simply have to keep putting into action.    What are your motivations?  What do you do to keep yourself going and accountable?

P.E. Has to Change, Part 1: The Problems

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Photo by uwdigitalcollections'

The following is a dramatic reenactment of a key moment in Janet's (The Editor's) P.E. experience. Names have been changed to protect the sort-of-innocent.

Teacher:  Ok, kids, today we're going to play kickball.

Class (including Janet):  Yay!

Teacher:  Let's pick teams.  Ok, Timmy, you pick team one, and Sheila, you pick team two.

Class (everybody but Janet):  OK!

Janet:  Yay!  I'm going to be picked last.  Again.

Five minutes later, Janet has been picked last, even after the kid with two broken legs.  It is now Janet's turn to kick the ball.

Teacher:  Ok, Janet!  You're up.

Janet approaches the ball with trepidation, though still filled with the heady exhilaration that affects all elementary kids when it is his or her turn.

Janet:  (To herself)  Ok, just kick the ball.  Doesn't have to be far, doesn't have to be fast.  Just kick it and don't look like a douche...just don't look like a douche...

Pitcher:  I'd better do it slow so she can see it coming!  (Snickers with glee.)

He pitches the ball at a speed that may outpace a caterpillar, but not by much.  Jeers and cheers from the other kids about Janet's remarkable lack of coordination ensue.


Teacher:  Stop it.  That's not nice.  (Other kids point and laugh mockingly behind the teacher's back.)  Janet, just kick the ball.

Janet:  (To herself)  Ok, just gotta make like the Mighty Ducks and go from zero to hero.

Janet squares up to the ball, runs to kick it, but kicks too soon, bringing her foot down on top of the ball instead of the side.  It rolls from beneath her and she falls flat on her butt.  Hard.


Pitcher:  Ha!  She looks like a douche!  Laughter from the class washes over Janet's humiliated and very sore body.


Tinkly music brings us back to the present.  Doo-dee-doo-dooo!   Doo-dee-doo-dooo!

For those of us who were not blessed with the ability to avoid tripping over one's own feet, P.E was an hour of social mayhem.  P.E., especially in high school, taught us one thing:  that we were horrible at most organized sports.  Looking back now as an adults who have struggled with weight and fitness, we wish P.E had taught us more about how to actually succeed with physical skills and less about how to dodge bullies in the locker room.  From our perspective, the way that P.E. is traditionally structured only works for athletes, and it teaches those who aren't naturally gifted to hate, or at the least dislike, exercise.  We hate athletics, not because we're lazy or uncoordinated, but we just can't take the humiliation of failing in front of others and exposing ourselves to ridicule.

Aaron and Janet are far from the only ones who have had this sort of experience.  Rita Barry, the editor and creator of Fitblogger, says, "Oh, I don't know if there's enough words in the universe to communicate the terrible, horrible dismay that was P.E. for me.  I was heavy, uncool, tragically so, and it was really just a lesson in humiliation.  So much focus was put on sports and proficiency in them, as opposed to health and why this 'gym' thing was even important.  Gym for me became a lesson in avoidance, blending, and hiding more than it was about learning, challenging myself, or discovering a love of physical activity."  

A more subtle, but possibly even more damaging, effect of traditional P.E. instruction is the unsaid, but often implied, belief that athletics are the pinnacle of human achievement, and those who are not athletic therefore do not matter.  Think about Principal McGee's line in the movie, "Grease:"  "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter."  We believe that two problems result from this belief.  First, Janet figured if she couldn't be an athlete, then she wasn't anything, and she believed that for a very long time.  Second, in Aaron's experience, he found that that attitude turns kids off to anything physical.  With the thousands of non-physical activities available, like video games, movies, television,  Facebook, and BLOGGING, it is very easy for a kid with low self-esteem to throw themselves into activities that are unhealthy in long durations.  We should note that we, as Band Geeks, are perfectly aware of the damage this attitude can also do to our music programs, especially if it is held by those who hold the purse strings.

Many schools require health classes in addition to P.E., which we don't think is a bad thing in and of itself.  Though, in our experience, it was taught like life science.  Information was presented and tested.  You turned in your quizzes, you got your grades.  There was no teaching that pushed students to apply the information in the course.  (Janet would argue that this is the number one problem for every subject in education today.)

Both Aaron and Janet are music teachers, and we feel physical education has a whole lot more in common with music education than is apparent at first blush.  Both teach tricky and refined physical skills.  Both have social components that need to be addressed.  Both programs are being cut at many schools.  Finally, and sadly, we find that in many ways physical and music education fail us because certain factors are not being addressed en masse by educators.

A class doesn't have to involve humiliation in front of one's peers.  In music classes like choir and band, the possibility of public failure is just as high as in a P.E class, especially when we ask students to perform something in small groups or by themselves.  BUT, IT CAN BE ADDRESSED IN A POSITIVE MANNER.  By helping those students achieve and by creating a class culture of support, our students learn it's OK to take risks.  We believe that the use of Human Compatible Learning in physical education will work to everyone's benefit, including the athletes.

In our next post, we will explain how this method can be applied and its benefits.

In the comments, tell us about your experiences in P.E.  What did your teachers do that was effective for you and your health?  Or was your experience more like ours?  See what other Band Geek readers have said about theirs on another post.

This Should Scare You

If you've ever gone to a doctor or adjusted your health habits due to a new study's findings, this should make you poop your pants.

Lies, Damned Lies, and Medical Science

The article is long, but well worth reading.

Psalm 23, Slightly Revised

I actually wrote this for my other blog, Unity, Constancy, and Peace, but it seems applicable to Band Geeks.  I have posted below my version of the psalm, slightly revised. No disrespect is intended, only good, clean fun.

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I unfortunately shall not be in want.

2 He maketh me lie down in green stretchy pants,
he leadeth me beside full buffet tables,

3 He restoreth my bowl.
He guides me in paths of plenty
for his name's sake.

4 Yeah, though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of obesity, 
I will fear no cupcakes,
for you are with me;
your fork and your spoon,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with whipped cream;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely gooey goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

From the wisdom of magnets comes this thought

My good buddy Steve has a set of those refrigerator magnets that you can use to spell out different sentences and words.  His happens to be a troll word set.  My favorite saying that we wrote out was, "You Are Suck!"  That is totally how a feel right now.

My Celtic band had a gig tonight for a bunch of kids.  It was a ton of fun, but two other groups that were suppose to perform backed out at the last minute.  So we went from warm-up act to main event.  Normally, I'd be thrilled about that.  Not today though.  I failed to mention that this was an outside gig, on a baseball diamond, in 106 degree weather!  So we played for an hour non-stop in blazing sun without any shade.  Yeah, you are WAY SUCK!!  In the end we had a great time and the kids loved it, so I guess that's the most important thing.

It also meant we got home late and I hadn't done my daily workout yet, though I'd argue that playing an hour in intense heat was a workout.  I learned a valuable lesson in  sticking something out tonight.  It's now 11:30 at night and I just finished an hour of cardio.  UGH!!  Every core of my body said go to sleep and skip your workout.  But there was this one tiny little voice in the back of my head saying don't do it.  You're doing well, don't start slipping now.  Thank goodness that little voice won out.  I proved to myself tonight that I can do this even when it gets hard and I don't want to.  That being said, I probably didn't workout quite as hard as usual, but I did it.  That's all that matters at the moment.  "You Are Suck"; maybe, but not tonight.